If You Leave, Don't Leave Now
by imlaughingnow
Summary: There were still four more seconds. Ample time for Beck to stop playing games. He was always playing games. Footballs, basketballs, cricket bats, cards, her heart; those were the things he liked playing with the most. Bade. Based on The Worst Couple.


**Disclaimer: Naturally, I don't own Victorious but I would just like to say, that door scene is totally from my fic, **_**Silence,**_** therefore Dan owes me Bade fluff forever. That is all.**

**(.x.)**

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><p>"<strong>One"<strong>

He knows Jade did nothing wrong. Technically speaking, she was Jade West and therefore, she was being Jade West. She wasn't overreacting and she wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. If Beck were to be honest, it scared him how he quickly grew accustomed to them arguing. As a boy, when Beck thought about love, he thought it would be filled with hand-holding, kissing, hugs, warm smiles and cheery laughter. He always associated happiness with love. He didn't think it would hurt. But really, he should have known better. He hated yelling, he hated raising his voice, and he hated how she made him fly off the handle with a single comment. Beck could usually hold his shit together but Jade West must be his kryptonite because whenever she was around he always made a fool of himself.

In the janitor's closet, his heart was sinking like a piece of gold lost in the ocean. Gold because they were worth so much; she was worth so much. The thing with gold, is that it isn't easy to obtain. One must mine continuously for such long periods of time and most of the time, reap no rewards and return home, skin stained and heart heavy. But Beck, he found his gold. She shimmered and glittered his cold exterior away and greased his gears. She made him feel so many different things. Her changing emotions gave him whiplash but he didn't mind. Jade felt too much because he felt too little. They had a system. She overreacted because he underacted. That was how things went in the world of Beck&Jade.

"**Two"**

It shocked him to hear Andre pipe up and complain. Andre was Jade's oldest friend; she herself admitted it. They grew up together. It scared Beck that they could chase away even those Jade held dear. He knew she didn't let people inside the dark shadows of her heart often, and it shot him; an arrow in the chest, how easily she could lose them. Beck, unlike Jade, wasn't oblivious to the lingering hugs and longing gazes that Andre often directed in Jade's direction. It hadn't even perturbed him one bit; a part of him felt like a piece of Jade belonged to Andre.

They had been friends for so long, Andre did his best to help Jade up when she tripped over her own ego and spiraled into an abyss of darkness. He was there even when she pushed him away; her words slicing his heart open and dissecting every aspect of him. He was the one who introduced them; Andre was the reason Beck&Jade existed. And for that, he was thankful. For that he never called out his best friend when he sang about 365 days (because in actuality, Andre had been waiting for so much longer).

"**Three"**

Resignation is what overcame him when he headed for the door. Fighting with Jade was a losing battle. He knew it. Acting like Jade to knock some sense into her was also a bad idea. Secretly, he despised how a girl could make him lose his bearings by a simple action or statement. As a boy, Beck had vowed to never become one of those guys who fawned over girls; who gave them everything (his dad did that, and look how great his parents' relationship turned out to be).

If he gave Jade everything, when she left (because eventually they all did) what would he have then? When Jade leaves, she would take every ounce of him. He was cold and distant because guys don't feel. Guys should never feel. He never stopped to think, that for one second, making Jade feel too much could affect her adversely. She second guessed herself and her place in his life. And in theory, it was a great thing; it was what Beck always wanted; to have a powerful girl like Jade, wrapped around his baby finger. To prove a point, so to speak (that he was better than his father). But in practice, he should have known that the one gripping unto the other's pinky finger, was him.

Beck did everything with precision. All those previous times they broke up or were "on a break" were planned. He calculated her every step and determined how long it would take for her to come back to him. He did things so the Jade would come back; so that she would never really leave.

One thing he didn't calculate was Trina Vega. She jumped him. She literally jumped him. His mind went blank. Usually, in these situations, he had a backup plan; Tori Vega and Andre Harris. One of them; at least one of them would try and help Jade if Cat fainted again.

"**Four"**

He fought her off, but when Trina Vega sees something she wants, she sinks her teeth in and never lets go. Determination was etched into the very being of both Vega girls. They never gave up. Beck flipped his head to get a view of Tori. She was frozen in shock and tried to rip her sister off of Beck but her heart wasn't in it. Tori didn't know what to do. Like Beck, she froze.

Desperate, Beck's eyes fell to Andre who stood away and made loud exclamations but never made an effort to help. Was nobody going to help him? Beck was nothing without his plans. If he had no plans, how would he know where to go or what to do? Beck Oliver did not act on a whim. He needed structure, order and assembly. But really, he needed Jade.

Cat, his eyes fell on Cat but she looked away. Her eyes were downcast as she clapped happily that Jade remembered the number three. Her delight was as fake as her hair. Beck didn't even bother looking at Robbie; he was a waste. His heart rolled in his ear like lightning; so loudly that he couldn't even hear Jade counting on the other side of the door. He managed to stand and shake Trina's hold. Her long nails dug into his ankle and she pulled him down under once more.

He was fighting for her. It was the most fighting Beck had ever done for Jade or any girl for that matter. Really, it was pathetic but maybe if she saw how he tried to rise up and yank open the door handle, he could subdue her fiery temper.

It was a lot to hope for, but still he fought.

"**Five"**

Jade held her breath. With every second, she waited longer than she really should. She was giving Beck the chance to come after her; for anyone to come after her exactly. Cat, her best friend. Cat, the girl who she looked after like an owner would affectionately look after a pet kitten. Andre, the guy who she thought was her friend; the guy who was with her every step of the way. Tori, the one who loved to involve herself in her relationship with Beck; who loved to fix everything. Somebody. Anybody. But nobody came.

She heard them yelling at Trina and she heard someone struggling but she really had no idea why. They wouldn't try to stop Beck from opening the door, would they? Did they all really dislike her that much? Was she not worth so much as a friend for comfort? A friend to pat her on the back and tell her it would all be okay? Her boyfriend to come running and apologize for being a turd?

But really, she shouldn't have been so sure of herself, should she? She shouldn't have been so sure Beck was hers. She shouldn't have been so sure the people she considered friends actually returned those feelings. She shouldn't have been so sure she could have a happy life. She shouldn't have been so sure she could have anything and keep it. Eventually, Jade always ended up losing her valuables or smashing them into a million pieces.

"**Six"**

Still, this was Beck. They were together for three years. She didn't know why exactly he was acting the way he was today. He was supposed to be the lion tamer. He was supposed to ease the third degree burns she gave those who came too close. He was supposed to do many things really, but he did none of them. Jade slowly felt her shoulders slumping over in defeat and her voice grow softer. Her breath hitched and she struggled to stay in control. There were still four more seconds. Ample time for Beck to stop playing games. He was always playing games. Footballs, basketballs, cricket bats, cards, her heart; those were the things he liked playing with the most.

She stopped tapping her foot and closed her eyes.

"_I'm not happy with our relationship." _

Did he really have to shout it? Couldn't he have pulled her aside after Sinjin's stupid game show and spoken to her in the hushed, husky voice he always used when he tried to put her back into line. Why did he have to shout it out in front of their friends (well, the people she thought were her friends) and a crowd full of Northridge strangers? Did he enjoy this?

Sometimes, the answer was yes.

"**Seven"**

It wasn't like she was trying to be difficult on purpose- she was difficult by nature. She was angry when her father was never home. She was happy when he returned home and brought her back jewelry. She was confused when their mother left shortly after she turned seven. She was jealous when her father walked right past her bedroom to go speak to her baby brother. She was hurt when her mother gave her nothing more than a pat on the head but cried when she held her baby brother.

She was angry when her father let her go into the sea by herself. Jadelyn was never much of a swimmer; her instructor complained she never listened to him and liked to take her chances by going into the deep end.

"_It's dangerous, she thinks she can do it and that's fine, but it's not fine when she gets hurt,"_ Is what her instructor told her father whose response got cut short when her brother tripped and almost fell. He couldn't have any scars or bruises, could he? (But she could have them all because she was independent, right dad?)

So when she was wading in the warm Caribbean waters, glaring as her father held her little brother in one hand and held his new trophy wife in the other, a dolphin thought it was a great idea to rub against her foot. She screamed loudly and flinched but her father didn't hear. The dolphin circled around her and she couldn't help but be reminded of that shark show her actual mother always loved watching. Her arms flailed and she splashed the water, adrenaline pumping with hopes of returning back to shore but little Jadelyn was too far out and she was growing tired.

Her mother was back in California, and yet she found herself calling out for her. _"Mommy, come save me, mommy."_ But she was already nine; much too big for mommy to hold in her arms so downdowndown little Jadelyn West went. She shut her eyes under the water, catching only glimpses of the dolphin's tail.

"**Eight"**

She got out in the end, spluttering out water. Someone else's father saved her. Someone else's father patted her on the back and threw a dry towel over her shoulders. A boy who was clearly not her brother asked her if she was okay and a woman who wasn't her mother scooped her up into her arms and whispered comforting words into her ears. Little Jadelyn never clung to a person like she had clung to the blonde woman before. Her father, her little brother and her stepmother were nowhere to be seen.

Her surrogate family told her stories about butterflies.

"_They circle around you, take all your tears away and carry them to the clouds where you never see them again."_ Her surrogate father said after giving her a little sip of the ice-coffee his wife had ordered from the resort hotel. He chuckled as her face lit up when she took a sip.

"_Oh, I like this."_ Little Jadelyn said and her surrogate mother wrapped an arm around her.

"_Can't we keep her, Bill?"_ The woman said, giving her husband a sad smile. Her surrogate father scanned the beach looking for any worried parents and shot little Jadelyn a sympathetic look.

"_Where are you parents?"_ Her surrogate brother asked. He was older than her; he was brave and friendly and helped her build a sandcastle. Much better than the one she had now.

"_I don't know,"_ Little Jadelyn spoke softly.

"_It's okay. We can share mine until they get back."_ Her surrogate brother told her, and Jadelyn gave him a wide smile.

Two hours later, her father strolled over. Her stepmother grabbed her by the arm and scolded her for talking to strangers (_"the real stranger is you Miss Sarah,"_ she wanted to say) while her father apologized profusely. His son was hungry you see, and Jadelyn was nine. She went swimming lessons; she could handle herself. She was independent and mature for her age, he said. Her surrogate mother gave her a long hug and said, _"the butterflies will always be there when you need them. Tell them your worries, tell them what makes you cry and then watch your troubles fly away with them." _Jadelyn clung to her surrogate parents and her surrogate brother gave him the only thing he had on her; a black cap.

"_To remember us by,"_ he told her.

"_I won't ever forget."_

"_That's my best cap; black is my favourite colour you know."_ Her surrogate brother said as her father, brother and stepmother walked ahead. She was already forgotten.

Her surrogate father put the cap on her head and laughed when it covered her eyes. "_One day you'll make your own happiness, Jade. And you'll never have to depend on those around you again."_ Was the last thing he ever said before her stepmother's shrill _"Jadelyn" _made her take off into a run up the beach.

She liked the name Jade better.

"**Nine"**

Beck never understood why it was such a big deal to her. And that made Jade's eyes sting and she bit her lower lip. It was silent now. The world had stopped for these few moments; they would define her. She was in the warm, Caribbean ocean once more, her feet weren't touching the seabed and she started to panic. Her heart hammered in chest and her hands shook. She uncrossed her arms. Her heavy breathing and her paranoid heart were the only things that filled her ears. She was stretching her arms out calling for someone; Beck. She was calling her Beck with all her heart. Her body may have been rooted in place but she heart used its loudest voice and screamed his name.

He still had one more second. Cat had one more second. Andre had one more second. Hell, even Tori had one more second. One more second before they let her down. Before her roof gave in and her castle walls fell down. Before she collapsed in a melody of rubble and dust from her poached heart. One more second before she was nine again, circled by not a dolphin, but a shark of her own creation. Vicious, bitter, cruel and hateful. This time, the beach wasn't full. This time, she was alone.

"**Ten."** She said and she reached for the handle to open it. Maybe she was going to apologize or maybe she was going to give Beck and earful but she was going to do something. She paused. The man on the beach whispered into her ear and Jade felt her hand pull back. She turned around and walked to the car.

"_Make your own happiness,"_ he said as she slammed her car door shut. She put the key into the ignition and didn't bother to wipe away the stray tears that fell down her face. _"You'll never have to depend on those around you again."_ He said and Jade glanced at the Vega's front door, hopeful, but it never opened. So instead she drove out of their driveway and headed home.

.

Beck's hand moved from the handle. Jade was so close, he could almost feel her and in that same second, she was gone. He hadn't anticipated this. Without his plans, Beck's life automatically went on "reset" and Beck's cold demeanor returned. He ignored the worried glances and awkward silence around him. He ignored Trina's head on his hand and he ignored Tori's over-enthused smile. He ignored Cat's fake laughter and Andre's nervous chuckle. But one thing he couldn't ignore was the gaping silence he felt within himself. He felt like a corpse. He was losing himself; Jade was gone and she took everything with her, just like he knew she would.

Beck acted on autopilot; his mind trying to organize his thoughts as he checked his card.

When he put them back down, his mind was made up. He already had an inkling of what he needed to do to get Jade back.

He was fighting for her again; this time he would made sure she could see that.

**(.x.)**

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><p><strong>Okay, so that's it. That's my contribution to TWC. This is what I thought happened. I really needed to get that stuff out. <strong>

**I know Jade said "third grade" is when her dolphin thing happened but I really don't know when that is or how old she'd be, so I made her nine. Secondly, she's in the Caribbean ocean because I'm from the Caribbean biyotches. Also, I included the butterflies, the coffee and "Jade" to show why Jade likes those things. I really couldn't fit in scissors on a beach though.  
><strong>

**Review and tell me what you thought about the episode and this little old thing. Also, lowlaury and LeleD2012 are posting today. Read their fics biyotches. K. Thanks.**


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